I Now Totally Get That Phrase

**I'm WAY behind in blogging and have written about six blogs in my head over the last month, so hopefully I can start posting them now and get them out of my head!

As the saying goes, 'it's the thought that counts.' We all use that as an after-thought statement, either to excuse ourselves when we don't follow through on something or when something doesn't go exactly right. Yesterday, Kyle showed me the true joy behind that phrase.

We prepped Kyle for days about seeing Santa so he would hopefully not fear him this year. He wasn't keen on sitting on his knee (who can blame him?), so I said he could stand next to him. He was excited about that and I realized how backwards it is if parents force their child to sit on ANYone's lap, especially a stranger. He was excited and knew he was going to ask for "20 Passengers" a.k.a. 'anything train.' Mima and Santa have a direct line so he's getting Thomas and his coaches, Annie & Clarabel, which will probably mystify his belief in Santa for a good number of years--to be young and sweet and excited about the mystery of Santa coming to your house on a sleigh.

Kyle's first trip to Santa was at 9 months and he was unphased. The next year he was terrified (of the Easter bunny too, and now Chuck E. Cheese), so when we took his picture, he sat on Santa's chair alone with his Cheerios and when the photographer took the photo, Santa popped up behind Kyle, who never knew he was even there! Last year, we didn't even bother and it was just Makenna and Santa. But this year, our little guy was a big boy and ready to go.

We took some pictures at home first for our Christmas card and Kyle wanted to use candy canes in the picture. He then said, 'let's take the candy canes to Santa. I want to give them to him. Is that a good idea?' I was thrilled and he just tugged at my heartstrings and when he saw what a great idea it was, he was thrilled with himself. It was too cute to see how proud he was of his idea! We thought it was precious and such a sweet display of generosity. So we praied him up and down the sleigh, er, wall.

We had all good intentions with the candy canes. Kyle broke several at the house so we decided to hold them for Santa for him, candy canes intact. David slipped them into my purse. When we drove off, I pulled them out, and set them in the bucket on the floorboard where I stash everything from empty soda cans to CDs. I didn't want them breaking in my purse of course! Kyle was excited the whole way to the mall and kept asking where Santa was and was he coming to our house that night. We unloaded and hurried in to get in line and saw that Santa was on a break, but due back any moment. Makenna and I did a return at the Children's Place while the boys waited and when I came back, I realized we had left the candy canes in the car! I wanted to go back, but David said we were nearly up and there was no time! I felt like we were in that scene from A Christmas Story and my poor Ralphie, er, Kyle, was going to be wisked down a chute after seeing Santa. No time for the candy canes!

I lamented our forgetfulness to David and he said that Kyle didn't even remember and had moved on. And I said, I suppose it was the thought that counted. And I understood that phrase for the first time. Kyle's act of kindness and show of Jesus' love in that one idea to give the candy canes to Santa was the best gift I could receive this Christmas. And we should have let Kyle hold the candy canes and let them break. Kyle wouldn't have thought any different and would have been okay with his broken gift. He would have been proud of his broken gift. But the controlling parents here had to keep them intact and as a result, they ended up being left in the car.

There are times when raising children is so hard, so frustrating, and you feel so helpless. And I all I can do is ask Jesus to just grow in Kyle. And then I see it happening and it's just breathtaking. Kyle's broken candy canes, in total humility, would have been a perfect gift for Santa because it was all from his heart. Those wisemen who sought Jesus and offered gifts to the new King came in humility, giving whatever they had. Nobody carried them for them. They brought what they had and for all we know, they were in chipped bottles and dusty bags. I again think of Jesus saying we should come to him like little children, humble, honest, all-heart, no facade of perfection. May Kyle's broken candy canes remind you of the babe in the manger, who wants you, just as you are.