I just recently had a friend tell me I needed to blog and I gave the repeated answer I've said to so many, 'i know, i need to, i just don't have time anymore.' But yet i have time to facebook. Forgive typos, forgive errors in this post, as my hands can hardly keep up with my mind. I have to put on 'paper' what is running through my heart today, consuming my heart, and ask my friends who care about the life of the unborn, our most defenseless citizens, to join me in a prayer vigil over the next 24 hours.

I have all day had Casting Crowns' son "Jesus, friend of sinners" running through my head, specifically the lyric "break our heart for what breaks yours." I've never spent much time thinking about this line and what it means for me personally. Today I had somber news shared with me about a young girl I've never met, but she matters to me because she is one of Jesus' daughters and she is scheduled for an abortion tomorrow morning and she is 20 weeks along. She knows the details of her baby as any mother knows at 20 weeks along. I don't want to share too much for a couple of reasons. First, it will make it very real for you, and I want to respect your mind and your heart as I don't know what my readers can handle. Second, I want to keep any judgement passing through your heart towards her. After tomorrow, I have to move to a place of forgiveness and healing for her and a place of offering restoration of her heart and soul and she finds herself living post-abortively.

Today as details of this situation were shared, I broke into sobs, which shocked me personally as I'm not known for crying publicly. I won't share specifically what brought the sobs on because I want to keep your heart from aching as badly as mine continues to do so tonight. I realized my heart was breaking for what breaks the heart of Jesus. Jesus loves this young girl no matter what. He loves her baby. He has a life planned for this baby and the mother. And i love this girl even though I've never met her and I've prayer fervently throughout the day for her to change her mind.

She knows facts but as many young girls, doesn't see past the here and now. She has been fed lies from Planned Parenthood. I make no apology for my disdain for PP. They are a money-making machine. They show ultrasounds that are very blurry for a reason. They lie to women making them believe no one wants to adopt a non-caucasian baby which is why we see abortion rates among minorities far higher than caucasians. I don't care what PP provides to women who need pap smears and other healthcare. There ARE alternatives to PP for women's healthare. If you are a woman needing healthcare and you think PP is your only option, contact me. I can get connect you with other resources.  I care about the babies they kill every day. If you are post-abortive and still suffering the emotional fallout from your decision, you are not alone and there are people who want to help you through the healing process. There are women, myself included, willing to walk with you through that pain without any kind of judgement and love you through it.

this is all just spilling out of me because I have a heavy burden on my heart to protect the unborn and to provide their mommies with other options. The burden is so heavy on my heart that I am pleading with you to pray with me for this mother and the father of the baby, who I think has a greater chance of affecting the outcome. I believe the Spirit can move in a fierce way and change hearts through the cries of many. But make no mistake, the spiritual battle going on right now in the spiritual realm around this baby and her mother is dark and fierce and waging as I type. I also believe the battle waging might not result in the outcome I want because humans have free will. And God never pushes himself on someone, because that wouldn't be a loving God. That would be a controlling, dictating God, and that is not the Jesus I know. But with that freedom comes a vicious evil that is loose on this earth. I pray that this young woman would change her mind. Right now her baby is alive and has a future. My only hope is to pray for a change in her heart tonight, in the morning, even at the very last moment. I don't know her. I can't go to her. I can't find her. I can't chase her down at the clinic tomorrow, although every bit of me wants to because I want to rescue her and the baby. You might think it's not my business. It probably isn't. But that won't make me stop caring, loving, and praying. I have to be a defender of the weak. And I have friends who would adopt this baby in a heartbeat. I would adopt the baby without blinking.

Please pray with me. The days are dark. There is hope in Jesus.